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Texas Children's IBD Center

 

 


Overcoming guilt, frustration and anger

Having IBD can provoke anger, frustration, guilt and other negative emotions. Learning to recognize and manage these emotions is a part of learning to deal with life’s challenges. The way you control and deal with negative emotions can affect your mood and the moods of others around you.

Guilt

You might feel guilty because:

  • You have to cancel plans because you feel sick.

  • Your medical bills are higher than those of other family members.

  • You were irritable and lashed out at someone.

  • You receive more attention than other friends or family.

There are many reasons to feel guilty, but few to keep the guilt. Part of dealing with guilt is doing what you can to stay healthy and understanding that sometimes you need extra help.
If you are doing your best and still feel guilty, ask yourself the following:

  • What do you feel guilty about?

  • Whom do you feel guilty toward?

  • Does that person actually suffer from helping you or are you creating guilt for no reason?

  • Can you do something special for that person to show your appreciation?

Turn your guilt into a way to make others happier. You can make someone feel good about helping you by doing something special for that person in return.

Frustration and anger

“Why me?!” That’s a common reaction to any challenge. Why not? Everyone has problems, and you are no exception. That’s the hard truth. It’s amazing, though, how the challenges you face can make you a much stronger person if you choose to move beyond them.

Anger and frustration at having to deal with challenges is part of the process. It’s frustrating to cut back on activities when you’re sick, to give up favorite foods and to feel useless sometimes. Don't lose the time. Use the time. Make sure you have someone to get notes for missed classes or fill you in on the happenings at work. Use your down time to daydream as much as you want and to sleep as much as you can. Sick time is your time whether you’re in bed, on the toilet or in the hospital.

Still angry or frustrated? Don't dwell on your negative emotions. If your reasons are temporary (like if you’re having a flare-up and missing some fun event), let it go and move on. Letting go is a choice you make to stop thinking about your feelings when thinking is getting you nowhere.
 


 

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