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Mad, yes, I bet you are! What teenager wouldn’t be after
being diagnosed with cancer? The world you knew just flew out
the window and the word future has no concept at all. I know
this because I have traveled the same path that you are on
now. I’m just a few steps ahead of you. I am a cancer
survivor for four years now, and writing you this letter, I
hope that I can help ease some of the bumps in the road.
Your introduction to chemotherapy is the mountain we all have
to climb. These life-saving, cancer-killing, toxic chemicals
come in many colors and strange names--names that most Texans
have difficulty pronouncing. After these treatments you will
surely feel that you have just climbed that mountain, for all
the side effects will be there.
Your body will be weak and tired. The so-called bath bucket
they give you in the hospital will become your friend,
because you'll spend countless hours spilling your guts into
it. I'll be the first to admit that this is no fun, but this
will let you know that the chemo is working. This is your
so-called reward for reaching the summit.
You might get mouth sores that are caused by Methotrexate,
which makes it difficult to eat, but then again, the hospital
food is a killer anyway. I find this rather funny. The
doctors are so concerned that you are not eating that they
call in a dietician to tell you the importance of nutrition.
They will read off a list of wonderful, delicious, fattening
food, which sounds so good that might entice your appetite,
and then they bring in the rancid-smelling tray, and you will
have to say hello to your friend once again, the bath bucket.
Then again, hospital food has taught me to appreciate the
simple things, like mom’s cooking and a plain old can of
chicken noodle soup.
Of course, there are medicines to help you through this.
Zofran will ease the nausea and Predizone will increase your
appetite, but will give you chubby cheeks. Then there is the
loss of your hair. That might not happen to you. I have seen
patients who have never lost theirs, but that didn’t happen
to me. I lost it all. Yes, I will admit that the loss of my
hair was the most depressing. Hey, us guys have an image to
maintain.
I was surprised that the guys in my class wanted to shave
their heads to make me feel more comfortable. This is where
you find out who your true friends are. My illness gave me
the opportunity to see a true friend shine, and the ones not
so true, diminish—to me this is a gift.
There is no getting around needles; that’s something we all
must endure, but thankfully there's Emla. Emla is a cream
that when you leave it on your skin for an hour it numbs the
area. Always have some with you. It has become one of my
constant companions. Don’t leave home without it. You never
know when the doctor might give you a surprise attack and ask
for blood work. My motto, "be prepared." Also you never know
when you might be in the vicinity of a tattoo parlor.
Naturally the chemo zaps your immune system and you can get
infections very easy. So, this means that you will have to
wear the dreaded "mask.” Hopefully, by now they will have
some "cool" ones. Mine had cute pink and blue Teddy Bears on
them. How cool can a guy be with that?
You will have people stare at you and that is the worst. Try
walking up beside them and cough in their direction. It's
pretty funny when they casually walk away, when really they
want to scream and run to the nearest medical facility. It’s
not your fault that they stare; it’s just that they are
ignorant to the fact of what you are going through. I hated
the thought of being cooped up in the house, so I had to
weigh over the options. Mask or stay home. So I made my
decision. I hated the "Mask", but I loved going to Wal-Mart
more.
Being in the hospital on a holiday or birthday can really put
a damper on the occasion. The doctors try to work everything
out so this doesn’t happen, but sometimes it just can’t be
helped. I remember when I had to spend an Easter in the
hospital. I was so depressed, all I wanted was to be home and
enjoy the holiday with my family. So I thought I was entitled
to have a "pity party" for myself. When I woke up that
morning, I had Easter eggs taped all over my bed and IV pole,
(mothers can be very inventive). My pity party was a waste of
time, for my entire family came to the hospital and that will
be one Easter I'll never forget.
I know that these first few paragraphs are a little on the
negative side, but it's best that you know that you are not on
a joy ride. This is a rough road! I do promise it gets
smoother along the way. As you journey down this road, please
pay close attention to the roadside. You are meeting the most
awesome people you will ever encounter—the doctors, nurses,
child life specialists, and fellow cancer patients. You will
meet children and teens in your same predicament. This way
you will know you are not alone. No one understands better
than another cancer patient.
Celebrities also walk the hall of the hospital. I have
personally met most of the Houston Astros baseball team,
three of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Tara Lipinski, the Olympic
gold medalist, Garth Brooks and many of the local radio
personalities. It’s pretty cool knowing that you admire these
athletes, actors, and singers for their accomplishments and
that they admire you for your accomplishments. It puts
everybody on a personal level.
I think one of the hardest things for me was to watch my
parents. I know that they took my diagnosis harder than I
did. It is very difficult to give them assurance that
everything is going to be all right, when you know in your
heart it will. Take this time to be their child, and don't
question their actions.
After time, I’m sure that you will feel like you are being
smothered and need to get away. There are countless
organizations that can help you and your parents deal with
this. There are camps for kids and teens with cancer. No
parents are allowed. Your parents will not need to worry. The
counselors are made up of doctors and nurses, some of which
you probably know. All your medical provisions are all
provided and they are well equipped to handle any and all
medical emergencies. This gives you the opportunity to
experience freedom once again and to have fun.
Another organization that I got involved with is called Kids
Unlimited. This foundation takes kids on fishing trips. These
dedicated volunteers work and care very deeply in the job
they do for us. A slogan written on one of their foundation
vans really says it all. It reads: “If there is a way, even
for a minute, to help these kids forget the awful existence
of cancer...Our dreams become a reality." What more can I
say?
The best advice that I can give you is what my nurse
practitioner gave to me. Laugh. Laugh at everything. Rent
funny movies, hang out with your friends and laugh, do
everything possible to laugh. Trust me, laughter works
wonders. If you are too busy laughing at something then you
can't possibly be sad about your current position. It’s
wonderful how laughter can change a person. It is also very
contagious. Once a person starts laughing it can spread
around the entire room within seconds. Chemotherapy will cure
your cancer but laughter will sustain your spirit.
I was diagnosed at the age of 13. I am now a 17-year-old
senior in high school. Cancer didn't keep me from school. As
the doctors put it, “We don’t want cured dummies.” It takes a
lot of hard work, but you can do it. Today I am a stronger
person thanks to my diagnosis. Cancer put my life in
perspective. I don’t take anything for granted for every day
is a gift. Take one day at a time and if that gets too
difficult than take it minute by minute. I hope that I have
helped answer some of your questions.
If you are still mad, that’s okay, you have the right. Just
don’t let your pity party last too long. Once you have gone
through this you can do anything. Put your trust in your
doctors and nurses, for they have been trained to deal with
your illness. Your job is to keep your spirits high, and at
times that can be hard to do. Stay on the high road and not
the low road. I have walked this path before you, but that
does not mean that my journey is over. So always remember, if
you stumble and fall, pick yourself up and continue on for
others are following us.
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